I find disciplining my children difficult and often become angry and beat them. Can you give me any advice on the subject, as well as any books that would be appropriate to read?
Raising and educating children is one of the duties required of parents. Allaah has enjoined that in the Qur’aan, and the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also enjoined that. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded”
Imam al-Tabari said, commenting on this verse:
Here Allaah is saying: O you who believe in Allaah and His Messenger, “Ward off yourselves” teach one another that which will protect those who do it from the Fire and ward it off from them, if it is done in obedience to Allaah and they do it in obedience to Allaah. The phrase “and your families against a Fire” means, and teach your families to do acts of obedience to Allaah so that they may protect themselves from the Fire.
Tafseer al-Tabari, 18/165
To make it more fun for your children to memorise Qur’an and to add an element of fun to it, you could download and print the below one page progress chart of Juz ‘Amma. As your child memorises a Chapter, you can get them to colour it in.
Download Progress Chart (right click and select ‘save as’)
This eBook is an extract from the popular, “The Ideal Muslim” book by By Dr. Muhammad ‘Ali Al-Hashimi.
One of the chapters was very relevant to Islamic parenting so we extracted only this chapter and made it available for download here. Chapter 5 is titled, “The Muslim and His Children” and contains the following:
- He understands his great responsibility towards his children
- He uses the best methods in bringing them up
- He demonstrates his love and affection for them
- He spends on them, willingly and generously
- He does not discriminate between sons and daughters in his affection and spending
- He is alert to everything that may have an influence on them
- He equally treats all his children
- He instills good behavior and attitudes in them
The Prophet (peace be upon him) commanded people to eat with their right hands and forbade them to eat with their left hands. He said, “The Shaytaan eats with his left hand and drinks with his left hand.” Narrated by Muslim (2020). This implies that eating with the left hand is haraam, and this is the correct view, because the one who eats with his left hand is either a shaytaan (a devil), or he is imitating the Shaytaan.
Below is a little poem to teach your kids which is there left hand (so they don’t using it).
WHICH HAND DO I EAT WITH?
- Which hand is my right hand?
- It’s sometimes hard to know.
- But I have a special way
- That I will share and show.
- Put both hands out in front of you.
- Then it is easy to tell.
- Cause when you straighten out your thumbs
- The left hand makes an “L”
This eBook is an extract from the popular, “The Ideal Muslimah” book by By Dr. Muhammad ‘Ali Al-Hashimi.
One of the chapters was very relevant to Islamic parenting so we extracted only this chapter and made it available for download here. Chapter 5 is titled, “The Muslimah and Her Children” and contains the following:
- She understands his great responsibility towards her children
- She uses the best methods in bringing them up
- She equally treats her sons and daughters equally
- She demonstrates her love and affection for them
- She does not pray against her children
- She is alert to everything that may have an influence on them
- She instils good behavior and attitudes in them
Every human being having reached old age needs more service and care. The society must not ignore the rights of senior members of the community. Allah Most High said:
“And lower to them shoulders with humility and meekness and say my Lord have mercy upon them (both) as they brought me up when I was little.”
When we were weak and in need our parents did hard labour in nourishing and rearing us. They have performed numerous sacrifices for our comfort and welfare. They were the main source of our safety from a number of difficulties. As Allah Most High has mentioned we must sincerely ponder over the many hardships, which were taken by our parents for our comfort.
Question: My wife’s mother has in effect cut herself off from her daughter in recent times. Whilst there was some form of communication it was often quite turbulent and heated. My wife has tried a number of times to re-establish contact yet her mother refuses, quite stubbornly, to reply. We are both reverts and have often felt that our acceptance of the religion has played some part in her mother’s negative attitude. I would be grateful if you could advise us on what me might possibly do to rectify this situation.
Jazak Allahu Khairan
Answer: Praise be to Allah. The reactions of non-muslim mothers towards their children’s embracement of Islam varies. Some mothers are peaceful and passive considering this as a personal matter which does not affect the relationship between the mother and her son or daughter. In such cases more piety by the child towards his or her mother will make the mother admire and respect Islam.
Other mothers adopts a more stubborn approach at the beginning but the mother finally gives in and accepts the new religion as a fact of life after she sees the child’s determination and persistence which could lead the mother herself to embrace Islam.
In the third case we find that some mothers are constantly stubborn to the extent that
After mentioning that one must confess His Oneness, worship Him with sincerity, and remain upright in obeying Him, Allah follows that by giving instructions regarding the parents. These appear together in many places of the Qur’an, such as Allah’s saying,
(Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be dutiful to your parents.) (17:23)
(Be grateful to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination.) (31:14)
There are many other Ayat like this as well. Here Allah says,
(And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents.) (46:15) meaning, `We have commanded him to treat them well and show compassion towards them. Abu Dawud At-Tayalisi recorded from Sa`d bin Abi Waqqas, may Allah be pleased with him, that his mother said to him: “Hasn’t Allah commanded that you obey your parents Then I will not eat any food or drink any drink until you disbelieve in Allah.” Thus she stubbornly abstained from eating and drinking, until