• Jul
  • 26
  • 2008

Muslim Parents Attitude

A positive attitude is very important as inshaAllah, it will make our life easier. In life, not everything goes as smoothly as we want it to be. This is the nature of this world – it is a testing ground. There will be times when we will face problems and obstacles. The most challenging part is not when our life goes smoothly but how we react when we experience problems and difficulties. We should be grateful to Allah at times of ease and patient in times of difficulty. And we should always put out trust in Allah.

As Muslim parents, the benefits of having a positive attitude should also effect our approach to raising children. With this in mind, below are some very simply points that we should try to keep in mind each day. It may help if you print them off and read it every day or so inshaAllah.

  • I am raising my child to be a successful representative of Allah, who will help create a truly Islamic World.
  • I will try my best to know and understand all the influences upon my child’s development,
    • both internal and external influences
    • I will try help them understand the effects of negative and positive influences
    • I will try to increase their exposure to positive influences and shield them from negative ones
  • I will try my best to notice the good things my child does or says, and tell them how much those things are appreciated by Allah and then by me. See here.
  • I will try my best to not be critical of my child and try to use positive ways to correct wrong behaviour
  • I will try my best to be an example for my child according to the teachings of Islam.
  • I will ask for Allah’s help that I can be a good parent for my child and that they be a good child
  • I will love my child unconditionally, but I will control that love and use it only when it is most beneficial to my child



2 Responses to “Muslim Parents Attitude”

  1. Salaam says:

    Salaam alaikum,

    I posted the following on my own blog, http://www.progressiveislam.info:

    I’m reminded of when my former muslim stepdaughter met my (younger) nonmuslim daughter from a first marriage and asked her if she was worried about being boiled in a lake of fire for wearing a skirt that was above her knee. It’s an anecdote that tells me that some-maybe many-muslim parents fill their childrens’ lives with threats of metaphysical violence and torture. I suppose the idea may be to teach them to fear Allah (swt) now and the love for him will come later. But isn’t it also damaging to teach them that Allah (swt) is the torturer in chief, an omnipotent savage (if you agree with me that violence is savage behavior)?

    Americans let their children watch thousands of hours of violence on TV thereby desensitizing them to it, but I don’t see where it’s qualitatively better childrearing to raise them with the threat of shocking divine violence, especially for minor transgressions of dress and childish conduct. The constant imaginings of the infernal punishments have to be just as desensitizing as the TV representations. As with the American children, young muslims will likely have a decreased threshold to initiate violence when they grow up since violence has been a constant presence for them too.

    We should raise our children to do right by god out of love for him, not to flinch away from his violence.

  2. Hafswa Omar says:

    waaleikum salaam.

    MashaAllah, I completey agree with you Salaam. especially, we know that Allah Zawajal is most forgiving.

    I guess, some culture, take the fear as a technique that works for them and use it to raise their children. As the parents were raised in that environment, it becomes normal for them to raise their children as same.

    I personally was raised to fear Allah (swt), when I grew up, I realised that, Allah (swt) wants us to love him. and the fear that we should have is based on fear of not annoying him and fear of making sure Allah (swt) is always happy with me. but then, this discovery happened because I investigated further.

    and this is how am raising my children in’shaa’Allah.

    Allah (swt) make it easy for us parents and our children.

    Ameen.

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