Building Muslim Character in the West
This post is in: General Upbringing
Today we’ll be looking at the all-important topic of imparting Islamic identity to our children in the West. Obviously, the parents themselves should have a strong Muslim identity but there are additional important points to be kept in mind.
In developing their Muslim identity we have to naturally impress upon our children that our ways are quite different from those of the rest of the western society. But this should not be done in such a way as to create hostility towards the western society as a whole. This can create emotional conflict in a child. The Holy Qur’an says of the people of the book that “they are not all alike” (3:113) and it praises some of their good qualities along with condemnation of what is wrong with them (5:85-87, 57:27, etc.).
We must not therefore make a general condemnation of the western society as a whole but rather point out to them what is good in this society and what is bad. We should help them identify themselves with what is good here and to reject what is bad.
For example, we should tell them:
- “Most Westerners believe in the Trinity and in the divinity of Jesus (may peace be upon him), which we reject totally. But there are many Westerners who believe in one God and the prophethood of Jesus (may peace be upon him) in much the same way as we do.”
- “Most Westerners take alcohol and/or drugs, but many reject this practice, as we Muslims do.”
- “Many Westerners are homosexuals or are willing to morally accept this deviation. But many others consider it immoral, just as we do.”
- “Many Westerners are for abortion but almost as many are against it.”
Then we should point to the evidence of the harm of the things prohibited by Islam, e.g. death by accident, ruined lives, broken homes in case of alcohol/drugs, etc. and AIDS in case of homosexuality.
Then it should also be pointed out to our youth that in some ways Western society is more Islamic than most Muslim societies. For example, here there is democracy and constitutionality which is more Islamic than the arbitrary rule of dictators and kings found in most Muslim lands. Also, there is generally less corruption (bribery, etc.) here than in some of the Muslim countries. Much self-criticism in the end will not weaken our children’s Muslim identity but rather strengthen it. More-over, it will help some of them grow up to be reformers which we so badly need.
In matters of details in which there are found differences among Muslims (e.g. how to pray, who should have been the leader of the Muslims after the death of the Prophet) we may tell our children what we think but without being too dogmatic about it. We should concentrate on inculcating love for God, the Prophet, Islam and Muslims and on teaching the basic and agreed upon beliefs and practices of Islam. For the rest we should take a more relaxed attitude. This would not only help Muslim unity, but also increase our chances of success in bringing up our children as Muslims, since dogmatism in every matter can in the end drive our youth away from Islam.