• Nov
  • 12
  • 2008

Parents Forcing their Daughters into Marriage – Dont!

This Islamic ruling deals with the often misunderstood concept in Islam about parents and forcing their daughters into a marriage.

Question:
I am muslim. I have to ask a question about my friend who is being forced to marry someone by her parents. She wanted to marry someone else. The guy who she is being forced to marry is more educated and wealthy than the one who she wanted to marry. Her parents has disapproved of her choice and they are forcing her to marry that guy. The guy who she likes is also muslim and very much devoted into islam. But just because the society would not talk about them they don’t like the guy who she loves. Any suggestions??

Answer:


Praise be to Allaah.

It is not permissible for a woman to be made to marry someone she does not want. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“A previously-married woman should not be married without being consulted, and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given?” He said, “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6455).

‘Aa’ishah reported that a girl came to her and said,

“My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it].” ‘Aa’ishah said, “Sit here until the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) comes. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 3217).

So, both the guardian and the woman must agree to the marriage. With regard to your request for our advice regarding the problem mentioned in the question, so long as this marriage has taken place, it is better for the woman to try to keep it going as much as she can, and to try to accept this husband. She should seek reward through pleasing her parents and also try to reform her husband through a gentle approach and praying for guidance for him. And Allaah is the Source of Strength.

Islam QA


7 Responses to “Parents Forcing their Daughters into Marriage – Dont!”

  1. Imran says:

    in my believe that a parents does not have any legal right to force her daughter to marry someone else. And they should accept the one she chooses to spend the life with. cause it is her choice and her choice only. forcing her to marry some one else is illegal and may result in custody of parents.

  2. mol says:

    The parents that are forcing are not muslims and are going to burn in hell. islam does not teach this. get educated and stop being illiterate and ignorant.

  3. saed says:

    it is true no one has the right to force anyone into a marriage,but children should know that there is no one on earth that loves them more than their parents and if they do object it may be because they think their children can do with better. i dont think they will burn in hell for that, because even if parents make mistakes their intention is always for the wellbeing of their children. i believe it is wrong to force daughters in marriage, everyone sould have a friendly relationship with parents then it is easier to deal with conflicts.

  4. Arju says:

    Mashallah a very good answer…Young girls should choose their life partner on the basis of religion and deed and parents should allow their daughters to marry with free will.forced marriages show the undutifulness of parents toawards their children

  5. usman afzal says:

    salam

    i agree with saed, good comment…..

  6. saed says:

    thank you, may Allah give us the means to always obey our parents and help us to strive to please them and let us all avoid conflicts with our parents. evrything in this world can be replaced with time… except our parents.

  7. Raza says:

    Parents should respect the choice of their children and they should not force their children in marriage. Marriage happens only once in a life for any human being and this should be the choice of the individual and not the parents. Parents often use the trump card of Islam and blackmail their children for getting married to the person or a girl of their choice. They have nothing to do with Islam but they just want to show their authority as parents. They should understand that when All-Mighty Allah doesn’t force any body in anything then why the parents force their children for marriage. Parents should always keep in mind that they are only normal human beings and nothing else and one day they will return back to Allah and will be questioned for every act they perform. Parents should avoid doing “zulm” on their children and Allah forbids “zulm”.

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