I find disciplining my children difficult and often become angry and beat them. Can you give me any advice on the subject, as well as any books that would be appropriate to read?
Raising and educating children is one of the duties required of parents. Allaah has enjoined that in the Qur’aan, and the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also enjoined that. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded”
Imam al-Tabari said, commenting on this verse:
Here Allaah is saying: O you who believe in Allaah and His Messenger, “Ward off yourselves” teach one another that which will protect those who do it from the Fire and ward it off from them, if it is done in obedience to Allaah and they do it in obedience to Allaah. The phrase “and your families against a Fire” means, and teach your families to do acts of obedience to Allaah so that they may protect themselves from the Fire.
Tafseer al-Tabari, 18/165
To make it more fun for your children to memorise Qur’an and to add an element of fun to it, you could download and print the below one page progress chart of Juz ‘Amma. As your child memorises a Chapter, you can get them to colour it in.
Download Progress Chart (right click and select ‘save as’)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) commanded people to eat with their right hands and forbade them to eat with their left hands. He said, “The Shaytaan eats with his left hand and drinks with his left hand.” Narrated by Muslim (2020). This implies that eating with the left hand is haraam, and this is the correct view, because the one who eats with his left hand is either a shaytaan (a devil), or he is imitating the Shaytaan.
Below is a little poem to teach your kids which is there left hand (so they don’t using it).
WHICH HAND DO I EAT WITH?
- Which hand is my right hand?
- It’s sometimes hard to know.
- But I have a special way
- That I will share and show.
- Put both hands out in front of you.
- Then it is easy to tell.
- Cause when you straighten out your thumbs
- The left hand makes an “L”
What are the Sunnahs and etiquettes that we should act in accordance with on the day of Eid?.
1 – Doing ghusl before going out to the prayer.
It was narrated in a saheeh hadeeth in al-Muwatta’ and elsewhere that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar used to do ghusl on the day of al-Fitr before going out to the prayer-place in the morning. Al-Muwatta’ 428.
Al- Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said that the Muslims were unanimously agreed that it is mustahabb to do ghusl for Eid prayer.
The reason why it is mustahabb is the same reason as that for doing ghusl before Jumu’ah and other public gatherings. Rather on Eid the reason is even stronger.
2 – Eating before going out to pray on Eid al-Fitr and after the prayer on Eid al-Adha:
Part of the etiquette is not to go out to pray on Eid al-Fitr until one has eaten some dates, because of the hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari from Anas ibn Maalik, who said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used not to go out on the morning of Eid al-Fitr until he had eaten some dates… of which he would eat an odd number. Al-Bukhaari, 953.
It is mustahabb to eat before going out to emphasize the fact that it is forbidden to fast on that day and to demonstrate that the fast has ended.
Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) suggested that the reason for that was so as to ward off the possibility of adding to the fast, and to hasten to obey the command of Allaah. Al-Fath, 2/446
Whoever does not have any dates may break his fast with anything that is permissible.
But on Eid al-Adha it is mustahabb not to eat anything until one comes back from the prayer, so he should eat from the udhiyah if he has offered a sacrifice. If he is not going to offer a sacrifice there is nothing wrong with eating before the prayer.
We should all get into the habit of drinking water and that means, getting your kids drinking water at a very young age! I have seen many families, where they give sugary drinks to their kids but regret doing that now because their kids have grown to love sugary drinks and have ditched the ‘pure water’ which is meant to be very good for their health.
Pepsi, juice and all sugary drinks are not considered healthy drinking! Although, there is nothing wrong with minimum consumption of sugary drinks, if given on special occasion or as a treat.
Water is crucial to your family’s health and wellbeing. It makes up, on average, 60 percent of your body weight. Every system in your body depends on water.
Some benefits of drinking water are:
- Increase Your Mental and Physical Performance
- Remove Toxins & Waste Products from your body
- Keep Skin Healthy and Glowing
- Reduce Headaches and Dizziness
- Allow for proper Digestion
- Help to keep you more Alkaline
Sometimes, people find drinking plain water is boring…”there is no taste”. Well, spice it up! You can always add some drops of lemon, orange or whatever fruit you like and InshaAllah once your kids get the hang of it, they probably don’t even need the extra taste anymore. And remember, make sure you keep a bottle with them at all times. It definitely comes in handy especially when they have been running around.
A child can be taught about Allaah in a suitable manner, according to his level of understanding. He can be told that Allaah is One and has no partner. He can be told that He is the Creator of all things, so He is the Creator of the earth, the heavens, people, animals, trees, rivers, etc. The educator can make the most of some situations by asking the child, whilst walking through a garden or in the countryside, about Who made the water, rivers and things in the natural scenery around him, to draw his attention to the greatness of the Creator. The father, mother or educators in general may be with a child or group of children in a car on a journey or a trip at the time of sunset, when the sun disappears from sight gradually. All that the educator has to do at that point is to draw the attention of those who are with him to the power of Allaah displayed in that.
1. Make an Eid plan. Let the whole family sit down and plan together.
2. In most Muslim countries Eid is a time for buying new clothing. It’s spring time anyway.
3. Eid is a time to go on farm for udhia/qurbani and talk about Prophet Ibrahim’s sacrifice. Remember to stress that it was Ismail (Ishmael) who was tested, not Ishaq (Isaac) as Bible says.
This slide show looks at the muslim family in western countries. It is based on research in North America but other western conuntries have similar environments.
It is focused more-so at the immigrant Muslim parent and their children being raised in western countries.
The encouragement to seek children covers both sons and daughters, and along with this general encouragement Islam has given special merits to seeking and bringing up girls – contrary to the thinking of the people of ignorance (age of ‘Jaahiliyyah’) of the past and present, since the people of ignorance – wherever and whenever found – hated (some of them ‘still do’) to have daughters and were grieved and angered by their births!
“And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief! He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonour or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision.” (An-Nahl 16:58-59)
But the Messenger of Islam, Muhammad (peace be upon him), came elevating the status of this gift given by Almighty Allah, welcoming the daughters, and raising high the importance of their upbringing with words to delight the hearts of the believing fathers and bring joy to their souls:
“Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood – he and I will come (together) on the Day of Resurrection – and he interlaced his fingers (meaning in Paradise).” (Reported by Muslim)
So can there be any greater honour given to daughter and for those who wish to have them and bring them up properly? And he said in another Hadith:
It goes without saying that most parents love their children dearly. It is a natural instinct placed by the Almighty into the heart of all parents. This love for children is a sign of the wisdom of Allah, for without it no parent would have borne all the pains and troubles of raising a child. However, many parents think that children know, without being told, that parents love them. They do not realise that children need to be reassured constantly.
Ayesha (May Allah be pleased with her) narrated that once a villager came to the Prophet and asked him, “Do you kiss young children? We do not kiss them.” The Prophet said,
“What can i do about it? Allah has removed the essence of mercy from your heart.” (Bukhari)
The effects of love must be evident in the speech and behaviour of the parents. Children do not have the wisdom and insight of adults to realise that even punishments and reproaches are signs of love. They often perceive the actions of the parents as a proof of