Question:
What are the Sunnahs and etiquettes that we should act in accordance with on the day of Eid?.
Answer:
1 – Doing ghusl before going out to the prayer.
It was narrated in a saheeh hadeeth in al-Muwatta’ and elsewhere that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar used to do ghusl on the day of al-Fitr before going out to the prayer-place in the morning. Al-Muwatta’ 428.
Al- Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said that the Muslims were unanimously agreed that it is mustahabb to do ghusl for Eid prayer.
The reason why it is mustahabb is the same reason as that for doing ghusl before Jumu’ah and other public gatherings. Rather on Eid the reason is even stronger.
2 – Eating before going out to pray on Eid al-Fitr and after the prayer on Eid al-Adha:
Part of the etiquette is not to go out to pray on Eid al-Fitr until one has eaten some dates, because of the hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari from Anas ibn Maalik, who said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used not to go out on the morning of Eid al-Fitr until he had eaten some dates… of which he would eat an odd number. Al-Bukhaari, 953.
It is mustahabb to eat before going out to emphasize the fact that it is forbidden to fast on that day and to demonstrate that the fast has ended.
Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) suggested that the reason for that was so as to ward off the possibility of adding to the fast, and to hasten to obey the command of Allaah. Al-Fath, 2/446
Whoever does not have any dates may break his fast with anything that is permissible.
But on Eid al-Adha it is mustahabb not to eat anything until one comes back from the prayer, so he should eat from the udhiyah if he has offered a sacrifice. If he is not going to offer a sacrifice there is nothing wrong with eating before the prayer.
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Question:
I find disciplining my children difficult and often become angry and beat them. Can you give me any advice on the subject, as well as any books that would be appropriate to read?
Answer:
Raising and educating children is one of the duties required of parents. Allaah has enjoined that in the Qur’aan, and the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also enjoined that. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded”
[al-Tahreem 66:6]
Imam al-Tabari said, commenting on this verse:
Here Allaah is saying: O you who believe in Allaah and His Messenger, “Ward off yourselves” teach one another that which will protect those who do it from the Fire and ward it off from them, if it is done in obedience to Allaah and they do it in obedience to Allaah. The phrase “and your families against a Fire” means, and teach your families to do acts of obedience to Allaah so that they may protect themselves from the Fire.
Tafseer al-Tabari, 18/165
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Assalamualaikum,
We should all get into the habit of drinking water and that means, getting your kids drinking water at a very young age! I have seen many families, where they give sugary drinks to their kids but regret doing that now because their kids have grown to love sugary drinks and have ditched the ‘pure water’ which is meant to be very good for their health.
Pepsi, juice and all sugary drinks are not considered healthy drinking! Although, there is nothing wrong with minimum consumption of sugary drinks, if given on special occasion or as a treat.
Water is crucial to your family’s health and wellbeing. It makes up, on average, 60 percent of your body weight. Every system in your body depends on water.
Some benefits of drinking water are:
- Increase Your Mental and Physical Performance
- Remove Toxins & Waste Products from your body
- Keep Skin Healthy and Glowing
- Reduce Headaches and Dizziness
- Allow for proper Digestion
- Help to keep you more Alkaline
Sometimes, people find drinking plain water is boring…”there is no taste”. Well, spice it up! You can always add some drops of lemon, orange or whatever fruit you like and InshaAllah once your kids get the hang of it, they probably don’t even need the extra taste anymore. And remember, make sure you keep a bottle with them at all times. It definitely comes in handy especially when they have been running around.
Wassalamualaikum.
A child can be taught about Allaah in a suitable manner, according to his level of understanding. He can be told that Allaah is One and has no partner. He can be told that He is the Creator of all things, so He is the Creator of the earth, the heavens, people, animals, trees, rivers, etc. The educator can make the most of some situations by asking the child, whilst walking through a garden or in the countryside, about Who made the water, rivers and things in the natural scenery around him, to draw his attention to the greatness of the Creator. The father, mother or educators in general may be with a child or group of children in a car on a journey or a trip at the time of sunset, when the sun disappears from sight gradually. All that the educator has to do at that point is to draw the attention of those who are with him to the power of Allaah displayed in that.
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1. Make an Eid plan. Let the whole family sit down and plan together.
2. In most Muslim countries Eid is a time for buying new clothing. It’s spring time anyway.
3. Eid is a time to go on farm for udhia/qurbani and talk about Prophet Ibrahim’s sacrifice. Remember to stress that it was Ismail (Ishmael) who was tested, not Ishaq (Isaac) as Bible says.
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The Prophet (peace be upon him) commanded people to eat with their right hands and forbade them to eat with their left hands. He said, “The Shaytaan eats with his left hand and drinks with his left hand.” Narrated by Muslim (2020). This implies that eating with the left hand is haraam, and this is the correct view, because the one who eats with his left hand is either a shaytaan (a devil), or he is imitating the Shaytaan.
Below is a little poem to teach your kids which is there left hand (so they don’t using it).
WHICH HAND DO I EAT WITH?
- Which hand is my right hand?
- It’s sometimes hard to know.
- But I have a special way
- That I will share and show.
- Put both hands out in front of you.
- Then it is easy to tell.
- Cause when you straighten out your thumbs
- The left hand makes an “L”
To make it more fun for your children to memorise Qur’an and to add an element of fun to it, you could download and print the below one page progress chart of Juz ‘Amma. As your child memorises a Chapter, you can get them to colour it in.
Download Progress Chart (right click and select ’save as’)
This slide show looks at the muslim family in western countries. It is based on research in North America but other western conuntries have similar environments.
It is focused more-so at the immigrant Muslim parent and their children being raised in western countries.
The encouragement to seek children covers both sons and daughters, and along with this general encouragement Islam has given special merits to seeking and bringing up girls - contrary to the thinking of the people of ignorance (age of ‘Jaahiliyyah’) of the past and present, since the people of ignorance - wherever and whenever found - hated (some of them ’still do’) to have daughters and were grieved and angered by their births!
“And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief! He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonour or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision.” (An-Nahl 16:58-59)
But the Messenger of Islam, Muhammad (peace be upon him), came elevating the status of this gift given by Almighty Allah, welcoming the daughters, and raising high the importance of their upbringing with words to delight the hearts of the believing fathers and bring joy to their souls:
“Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and I will come (together) on the Day of Resurrection - and he interlaced his fingers (meaning in Paradise).” (Reported by Muslim)
So can there be any greater honour given to daughter and for those who wish to have them and bring them up properly? And he said in another Hadith: Continue Reading…
It goes without saying that most parents love their children dearly. It is a natural instinct placed by the Almighty into the heart of all parents. This love for children is a sign of the wisdom of Allah, for without it no parent would have borne all the pains and troubles of raising a child. However, many parents think that children know, without being told, that parents love them. They do not realise that children need to be reassured constantly.
Ayesha (May Allah be pleased with her) narrated that once a villager came to the Prophet and asked him, “Do you kiss young children? We do not kiss them.” The Prophet said,
“What can i do about it? Allah has removed the essence of mercy from your heart.” (Bukhari)
The effects of love must be evident in the speech and behaviour of the parents. Children do not have the wisdom and insight of adults to realise that even punishments and reproaches are signs of love. They often perceive the actions of the parents as a proof of Continue Reading…
The issue of raising children is very important, the interest of both parents and children depends on it; the interest of the Ummah (Muslim society) as well as the community’s future is directly impacted by our ability to succeed in this. Islam takes great interest in it, and so do the educators, the first of whom is the Messenger Muhammad [Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam (SAWS) / peace be upon him] whom Allah sent as a teacher and guide to parents and children to ensure their happiness in both worlds.
The Qur’an contains many examples of good character such as the story of Luqman, the wise, who gave his son valuable advice.
Luqman’s advice
1. Luqman had advised his son, and Allah the Exalted disclosed his words:
“O my son, do not associate partners with Allah. Verily, Shirk (polytheism) is a grievous sin.” (31:13)
Therefore, beware of committing Shirk in worshipping Allah such as supplicating to dead or absent people. Continue Reading…
Praise be to Allaah.
A child can be taught about Allaah in a suitable manner, according to his level of understanding. He can be told that Allaah is One and has no partner. He can be told that He is the Creator of all things, so He is the Creator of the earth, the heavens, people, animals, trees, rivers, etc.
The educator can make the most of some situations by asking the child, whilst walking through a garden or in the countryside, about Who made the water, rivers and things in the natural scenery around him, to draw his attention to the greatness of the Creator. Continue Reading…
Life is miserable for those children who have to deal with parents who are constantly negative. Such parents do not forget mistakes, harp on small issues, and are always predicting the worst.
- “You are not studying hard, you are bound to fail”
- “Your room is such a mess, I wonder how sloppy your house will be when you grow up”
- “Stop troubling your younger sister, you have no love for her at all”
The Above are examples of negative and perhaps destructive comments. A parent may sometimes say such things in anger, but it is the constant repetition of negative comments that affect a child greatly.
A happy home is one in which children know that they will be disciplined when necessary, but do not have to Continue Reading…
Some parents believe that to love children means to do their work. They take excessive pity on the child and feel that as a parent it is their duty to do things for him. So at six years old a child is still be dressed by the parents. He is considered too young to tie his own shoes, or comb his hair. Such constant fussing over the child does not instill confidence and independence in the child. Rather it is selfish and irresponsible for a parent to allow their child to excessively depend on them.
A ten year old who never cleans his room, and lets mum or dad do it, will learn to always depend on others. This may also foster laziness, sloppiness and a lack of Continue Reading…
Most parents view playing as a waste of time. They would like a child to grow out of the love for playing and get into more serious things like studies, research, or even household chores. It seems more like a childish behavior that must be tolerated, and the sooner it is over the better. However Islam is a balanced religion. Play is an important part of growing up, and is vital for the physical and emotional development of the child. Play is the first source of learning basic social skills necessary for life.
A child loves to play, and it is a form of punishment for the child to be deprived of playtime. This desire to play, anywhere and with anything, is most evident in the early years. It is a sign of emotional and physical health. A child who does not Continue Reading…
Here are some quick don’ts in religious training.
Don’t do it harshly. Getting angry with the child and forcing them leads to resentment. It is better to explain, and discuss with the child.
Don’t overdo it. Teach religion in moderate doses. Overdoing it can be harmful and can be a burden for Continue Reading…
At about the age of about 5 or 6 of a child’s life, more of the concepts of Islam can begin to be taught in greater detail. Young children may know the name of Allah and his attributes and be happy to say them, but they cannot really comprehend the idea of an Omnipotent, All-Encompassing God that takes care of them and loves them.
As they mature, children will begin to understand this and realize the importance of their relationship with their Unseen Creator. It is necessary as parents to teach them about the significance of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, in all that they do. This is, in fact, the goal of Islam, which is submission to Allah’s plan and guidance. It should also be emphasized that doing this is to their benefit as well because it is through this obedience that they receive Allah’s grace and blessings. Connected with this are the rewards that Continue Reading…
Below is an example of a child hearing the words of Allah and being instantly moved by them. It is narrated by Ibn al-Jawzi and is as follows:
There was a king who had a lot of wealth, and he had a daughter and no other children. He loved her very much, and he used to let her enjoy all kinds of entertainment. This went on for a long time. Beside the king there lived a devoted worshipper, and whilst he was reciting one night, he raised his voice saying,
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones ” [al-Tahreem 66:6 - interpretation of the meaning].
The girl heard his recitation and said to her servants, “Stop!” But they did not stop. The worshipper started to repeat the verse, and the girl kept telling them to stop, but they did not stop. Continue Reading…
Today we’ll be looking at the all-important topic of imparting Islamic identity to our children in the West. Obviously, the parents themselves should have a strong Muslim identity but there are additional important points to be kept in mind.
In developing their Muslim identity we have to naturally impress upon our children that our ways are quite different from those of the rest of the western society. But this should not be done in such a way as to create hostility towards the western society as a whole. This can create emotional conflict in a child. The Holy Qur’an says of the people of the book that “they are not all alike” (3:113) and it praises some of their good qualities along with condemnation of what is wrong with them (5:85-87, 57:27, etc.). Continue Reading…
It is a good idea to pray in front of your small children. This will get them used to the actions and the regularity in which it is done. Many times, children will imitate their parents when they pray and other times they might playfully climb on their parents. So what should we do when children are climbing on us during prayer?
Below is a fatwa from Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid which explains the situation. SubhanaAllah, it also demonstrates the gentle and compassionate nature of the Prophet (peace be upon him). The question is as follows, Is there a sunnah of the holy prophet regarding him allowing children to climb upon him during prayer and Continue Reading…