The issue of raising children is very important, the interest of both parents and children depends on it; the interest of the Ummah (Muslim society) as well as the community’s future is directly impacted by our ability to succeed in this. Islam takes great interest in it, and so do the educators, the first of whom is the Messenger Muhammad [Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam (SAWS) / peace be upon him] whom Allah sent as a teacher and guide to parents and children to ensure their happiness in both worlds.
The Qur’an contains many examples of good character such as the story of Luqman, the wise, who gave his son valuable advice.
1. Luqman had advised his son, and Allah the Exalted disclosed his words:
“O my son, do not associate partners with Allah. Verily, Shirk (polytheism) is a grievous sin.” (31:13)
Therefore, beware of committing Shirk in worshipping Allah such as supplicating to dead or absent people.
Praise be to Allaah.
A child can be taught about Allaah in a suitable manner, according to his level of understanding. He can be told that Allaah is One and has no partner. He can be told that He is the Creator of all things, so He is the Creator of the earth, the heavens, people, animals, trees, rivers, etc.
The educator can make the most of some situations by asking the child, whilst walking through a garden or in the countryside, about Who made the water, rivers and things in the natural scenery around him, to draw his attention to the greatness of the Creator.
Life is miserable for those children who have to deal with parents who are constantly negative. Such parents do not forget mistakes, harp on small issues, and are always predicting the worst.
- “You are not studying hard, you are bound to fail”
- “Your room is such a mess, I wonder how sloppy your house will be when you grow up”
- “Stop troubling your younger sister, you have no love for her at all”
The Above are examples of negative and perhaps destructive comments. A parent may sometimes say such things in anger, but it is the constant repetition of negative comments that affect a child greatly.
A happy home is one in which children know that they will be disciplined when necessary, but do not have to
Some parents believe that to love children means to do their work. They take excessive pity on the child and feel that as a parent it is their duty to do things for him. So at six years old a child is still be dressed by the parents. He is considered too young to tie his own shoes, or comb his hair. Such constant fussing over the child does not instill confidence and independence in the child. Rather it is selfish and irresponsible for a parent to allow their child to excessively depend on them.
A ten year old who never cleans his room, and lets mum or dad do it, will learn to always depend on others. This may also foster laziness, sloppiness and a lack of
Most parents view playing as a waste of time. They would like a child to grow out of the love for playing and get into more serious things like studies, research, or even household chores. It seems more like a childish behavior that must be tolerated, and the sooner it is over the better. However Islam is a balanced religion. Play is an important part of growing up, and is vital for the physical and emotional development of the child. Play is the first source of learning basic social skills necessary for life.
A child loves to play, and it is a form of punishment for the child to be deprived of playtime. This desire to play, anywhere and with anything, is most evident in the early years. It is a sign of emotional and physical health. A child who does not
Here are some quick don’ts in religious training.
Don’t do it harshly. Getting angry with the child and forcing them leads to resentment. It is better to explain, and discuss with the child.
Don’t overdo it. Teach religion in moderate doses. Overdoing it can be harmful and can be a burden for
At about the age of about 5 or 6 of a child’s life, more of the concepts of Islam can begin to be taught in greater detail. Young children may know the name of Allah and his attributes and be happy to say them, but they cannot really comprehend the idea of an Omnipotent, All-Encompassing God that takes care of them and loves them.
As they mature, children will begin to understand this and realize the importance of their relationship with their Unseen Creator. It is necessary as parents to teach them about the significance of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, in all that they do. This is, in fact, the goal of Islam, which is submission to Allah’s plan and guidance. It should also be emphasized that doing this is to their benefit as well because it is through this obedience that they receive Allah’s grace and blessings. Connected with this are the rewards that
Below is an example of a child hearing the words of Allah and being instantly moved by them. It is narrated by Ibn al-Jawzi and is as follows:
There was a king who had a lot of wealth, and he had a daughter and no other children. He loved her very much, and he used to let her enjoy all kinds of entertainment. This went on for a long time. Beside the king there lived a devoted worshipper, and whilst he was reciting one night, he raised his voice saying,
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones ” [al-Tahreem 66:6 - interpretation of the meaning].
The girl heard his recitation and said to her servants, “Stop!” But they did not stop. The worshipper started to repeat the verse, and the girl kept telling them to stop, but they did not stop.
Today we’ll be looking at the all-important topic of imparting Islamic identity to our children in the West. Obviously, the parents themselves should have a strong Muslim identity but there are additional important points to be kept in mind.
In developing their Muslim identity we have to naturally impress upon our children that our ways are quite different from those of the rest of the western society. But this should not be done in such a way as to create hostility towards the western society as a whole. This can create emotional conflict in a child. The Holy Qur’an says of the people of the book that “they are not all alike” (3:113) and it praises some of their good qualities along with condemnation of what is wrong with them (5:85-87, 57:27, etc.).
It is a good idea to pray in front of your small children. This will get them used to the actions and the regularity in which it is done. Many times, children will imitate their parents when they pray and other times they might playfully climb on their parents. So what should we do when children are climbing on us during prayer?
Below is a fatwa from Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid which explains the situation. SubhanaAllah, it also demonstrates the gentle and compassionate nature of the Prophet (peace be upon him). The question is as follows, Is there a sunnah of the holy prophet regarding him allowing children to climb upon him during prayer and