Every human being having reached old age needs more service and care. The society must not ignore the rights of senior members of the community. Allah Most High said:
“And lower to them shoulders with humility and meekness and say my Lord have mercy upon them (both) as they brought me up when I was little.”
When we were weak and in need our parents did hard labour in nourishing and rearing us. They have performed numerous sacrifices for our comfort and welfare. They were the main source of our safety from a number of difficulties. As Allah Most High has mentioned we must sincerely ponder over the many hardships, which were taken by our parents for our comfort.
Question: My wife’s mother has in effect cut herself off from her daughter in recent times. Whilst there was some form of communication it was often quite turbulent and heated. My wife has tried a number of times to re-establish contact yet her mother refuses, quite stubbornly, to reply. We are both reverts and have often felt that our acceptance of the religion has played some part in her mother’s negative attitude. I would be grateful if you could advise us on what me might possibly do to rectify this situation.
Jazak Allahu Khairan
Answer: Praise be to Allah. The reactions of non-muslim mothers towards their children’s embracement of Islam varies. Some mothers are peaceful and passive considering this as a personal matter which does not affect the relationship between the mother and her son or daughter. In such cases more piety by the child towards his or her mother will make the mother admire and respect Islam.
Other mothers adopts a more stubborn approach at the beginning but the mother finally gives in and accepts the new religion as a fact of life after she sees the child’s determination and persistence which could lead the mother herself to embrace Islam.
In the third case we find that some mothers are constantly stubborn to the extent that
After mentioning that one must confess His Oneness, worship Him with sincerity, and remain upright in obeying Him, Allah follows that by giving instructions regarding the parents. These appear together in many places of the Qur’an, such as Allah’s saying,
(Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be dutiful to your parents.) (17:23)
(Be grateful to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination.) (31:14)
There are many other Ayat like this as well. Here Allah says,
(And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents.) (46:15) meaning, `We have commanded him to treat them well and show compassion towards them. Abu Dawud At-Tayalisi recorded from Sa`d bin Abi Waqqas, may Allah be pleased with him, that his mother said to him: “Hasn’t Allah commanded that you obey your parents Then I will not eat any food or drink any drink until you disbelieve in Allah.” Thus she stubbornly abstained from eating and drinking, until
Question: Allah tells us in the Qur’an not to cut off our blood relations. What is the interpretation of the Ayah that commands us not to severe ties of kinship ? Who does it refer to ? Just parents and siblings ? What if one maintains contact with one’s parents only through telephone or letters although he is capable of visiting them. Yet, he feels that maintaining a certain distance is healthier to the relationship?
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in- law, and a four-year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather’ s shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult.. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass often milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in- law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about grandfather, ” said the son. I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.
So what can we do for our parents if they have passed away?
The answer is there in the Hadith reported by Abu Osaid Ibn Assaaidi who said that we were near the Prophet (peace be upon him) when a man of Banu Salma came to Him and asked: “Ya RasulAllah (peace be upon him), Is there any obedience to parents left that I can show to them after their demise?” He said: “Yes! (You can be obedient to them) by praying for them, to seek forgiveness for them by fulfilling their instructions after their death, by keeping affinity to those who are not connected with you but through them and to honour their friends” (Abu Dawud and Ibn Maja)
It is one of the beauties of Islam that, with respect to the treatment of parents, it forbids the Muslim to be disrespectful to them even if they should be non-Muslims who are fanatical to the point of arguing with him and putting pressure on him to renounce Islam. Allah Ta’ala says:
…Be grateful to Me and to thy parents; to Me is (the final) goal. But if they strive to compel thee to associate with Me that of which thou hast no knowledge, do not obey them; but keep company with them in this life in a kind manner and follow the way of those who turn to Me. Then to Me will be your return and I will inform you ((of the meaning of) all that you did. (31:14-15)
In these two verses the Muslim is commanded not to obey his parents in what they try to tell him to do in this regard, since there cannot be obedience to a creature in sin against the Creator-and what sin could be greater than
While this site mainly deals with how to raise children and the responsibilities of parents, we thought it would it also be useful to also have a category about the rights and status of parents in Islam. So in this post, we want to briefly mention the major sin of disobeying parents. As parents, this is something we should teach our children – not only for our personal gain, but to avoid children from committing a major sin.
We shouldn’t raise our children to be “scared of us” and that’s the only reason they don’t disobey us. Rather we should instil the fear of Allah in their hearts and as part of this, they should know that Allah does not like them to be disobedient to us. A child’s fear of their parents will eventually reduce as they get older, but the fear of Allah should always be there, and this is what we should base our teachings on in this regard.
In Islam, it is the right of parents that their children should treat them with kindness, obedience, and honor. Devotion to parents is a natural instinct which must be strengthened by deliberate actions.
A little boy came up to her mother in the kitchen one evening while she was making some food, and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his mum finished what she was doing , she read it, and this is what it said:
For cutting the grass: $5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
For going to the store for you: .50